Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Edwards finds his voter group

At American Spectator Andrew Cline, editorial page editor of the N. H. Union Leader and editor of the humor blog, tells readers there's a voting group which supports former Sen. John Edwards.

With tongue in cheek Cline begins:

In his quest for the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination, former U.S. Sen. John Edwards has failed to win a single primary or caucus. But exit polls in several states show he is winning a majority of the angry dandy vote.

In Nevada, where Edwards finished a distant fourth this past weekend, garnering only 4 percent of the vote, he swept upper middle-class male boutique clerks, personal assistants, celebrity publicists, hairdressers and Cher fans.

"John Edwards has finally found his base," said UNLV political scientist Gale Cerf. "If only America were filled with pampered white males with impeccable fashion sense and a burning resentment of wealthy industrialists, he'd have it made."

Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., won 84 percent of the black vote in Nevada, and Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., won about half the female vote in New Hampshire and more than half of it in Nevada. Edwards, however, has failed to rally white males, with most of them splitting between Obama and Clinton.

Unable to capitalize on sex or race in a contest now obviously divided by both, Edwards has struggled to find a base of support -- until the Nevada exit polls confirmed what some in his campaign had long suspected: He's a hit with angry, effete men.

"John's dual message of seething rage at the corporate tycoons who secretly run this nation and immaculate grooming has won him an avid and smashingly dressed following," said campaign manager David Bonior. "Obviously, we are trying to reach as many of them as we can in South Carolina. We currently are attempting to merge the mailing lists of The Nation and the Brooks Brothers catalogue, and we've got volunteers standing by ready to race over and invite anyone who shows up on both lists to discuss John's campaign over coffee at Starbucks."
The rest of Cline’s wonderful satire is here.

You’ll enjoy it unless you’re someone who takes John Edwards as seriously as he takes haircuts.

Message to Andrew Cline: By the third paragraph I was LOL.


Anonymous said...

Speaking of Edwards, when did the little twit get rid of the lip wart he used to have?

Anonymous said...

Why is Edwards still in this? He is like Thompson - "What am I missing?"

Anonymous said...

"Angry, effete men" brought a clear picture to mind. A scene from "Will and Grace" when as Jack became increasinly angry his voice became higher and higher until he made no sound and only the dogs could hear him.

Debrah said...

TO 6:51 PM--


When he ran as VP back in '04, that used to give me the creeps.

Thank heavens he had it removed.

Loudmouth Elizabeth was explaining to everyone months ago that he had it taken off during the time she was going to the doctor for her condition.

They made it sound as though the doctor advised it for fear it might evolve into something cancerous.

What a load.

The guy had a wart on his lip which anyone on the public stage would have had removed years ago.

Just another example of how dishonest and pathetic Edwards and the Mrs are.

Even about something as simple as the wart on his lip.

(BTW.....I used to wonder when I'd see him stumping with John could a woman want to kiss a man with a wart on his lip?)


But now, John-Boy is fresh and new!