Tuesday, December 23, 2008

"Nifong Roasting" remains a "holiday classic"

Two years ago today three former Duke students North Carolina's attorney general Roy Cooper would later declare the "innocent" victims of a "rush to accuse" by a "rogue prosecutor" were still under indictment for gang rape and other felonies.

The rogue prosecutor, Mike Nifong,was still Durham's DA. In fact,he'd just narrowly won election to his first full term as Durham DA.It would be another seven months before he'd be disbarred.

And two years ago today Richard H. Brodhead, Duke's president, hadn't yet started telling alums: "I'm one of Nifong's bigest critics."

That wasn't surprising. Since March 2006 Brodhead and Duke's trustees had positioned the university to be Nifong's principal enabler.

They only began abandoning Nifong on Dec. 15, 2006 when one of his stooges admitted in open court he'd conspired with the Nifong to withhold DNA evidence of the students' innocence.

And also two years ago today, JinC published for the first time "Nifong Roasting" by Duke alum Locomotive Breath.

It was, as they say in the music industry, "an instant classic."

I'm delighted to republish it again today.


You all know
The Christmas Song Nat King Cole made famous.

It begins:

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost nipping on your nose,
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.
The rest of the lyrics are here.

Locomotive Breath took those lyrics and produced this wonderful spoof:
A Christmas Song for Mike Nifong
With Apologies to Tradition

DA's burning in a hellish fire
Flames are licking at his toes,
Mournful chants sung by a choir,
Of tortured souls sent down below.

Everybody knows a false charge from a lyin' ho',
Will surely send you straight to hell,
Wicked fiends with their eyes all aglow,
Will make it hard to sleep too well.

They know that Nifong's gotta pay,
He's loaded lots of guilt and bad deeds on his way,
And every laxer Mom is gonna spy,
To see if Michael really knows how to cry.

And so I'm offering this simple gaze,
From now to time beyond our view,
Although it's been said many times many ways,
Immolation for you.


Anonymous said...

I write parody lyrics for musical shows; take it from me Locomotive Breath has done a marvelous job with this one!!
A very Merry Christmas and my best wishes for a happy and fruitful new year in 2009. I'll be in Florida for Christmas, back before the ball drops.
Tarheel Hawkeye

Ex-prosecutor said...

As always, an intelligent and entertaining post. My best Christmas wishes to you, your family and all of your daily readers, as, I am certain, your wish to all of us. May we all have a productive, happy and prosperous 2009.

While we have never met, I consider you my friend, as I do all who follow your post.

Anonymous said...

John: I visit your blog daily and thoroughly enjoy your thoughtful posts and the intelligent, informative and thought provoking comments from all your friends. Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday Season to Hawkeye, Ex-pros, Catherine, Ken in Dallas, Jim Peterson, Danvers, Archer, BN and all the others who make this blog entertaining, enjoyable and give it life. Steve in New Mexico