Singing Nifong out

At Christmas JinC Regular and citizen journalist Locomotive Breath gave us "Nifong Roasting," a satirical rewording of the lyrics to the Nat King Cole Christmas favorite that begins: "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire."

Now, just in time for New Year's Eve, LB offers another set of lyrics. He writes:

From constant repetition, “Auld Lang Syne” has an instantly recognizable tune and first three lines. ...

I offer my deepest apologies to my Scot forebears for this desecration of the holy writ of Robert Burns.

I’m introducing it early in the day to give plenty of time for it to be forgotten by midnight.

This is a song of commiseration, unity and eventual triumph for the Duke lacrosse team and is intended, like the original, to be sung at an annual celebration of the hoped-for and ever-more-likely complete exoneration of the entire Duke lax team and the disbarment of Mike Nifong.

I’m sorry to add to their misfortune, but this song is dedicated to Dave Evans, Collin Finnerty and Reade Seligmann.

Auld Nifong Bind

When equal justice is forgot, and never brought to mind.
When equal justice is forgot; you get the Nifong bind.

You get the Nifong bind, my friend.
You get the Nifong bind.
When equal justice is forgot.
You get the Nifong bind

Fantastic liar finger points, DA indicts in time.
He’s won election on our backs; he used the Nifong bind.

He used the Nifong bind, my friend.
He used the Nifong bind.
He’s won election on our backs.
He used the Nifong bind.

Once we stood astride the field, we scored and won and shined.
He’s stolen all that’s dear to us, while in the Nifong bind.

While in the Nifong bind, my friend.
While in the Nifong bind.
He’s stolen all that’s dear to us.
While in the Nifong bind.

You know that I am by your side, and I know you’re by mine.
We’ll stick together to the end; we’ll break the Nifong bind.

We’ll break the Nifong bind, my friend.
We’ll break the Nifong bind.
We’ll stick together to the end.
We’ll break the Nifong bind.

The DA should have thought it through; the bar will find his crimes.
He’ll never practice law again; he’s in the Nifong bind.

He’s in the Nifong bind, my friend.
He’s in the Nifong bind.
He’ll never practice law again.
He’s in the Nifong bind.

Locomotive Breath adds:

A year from now, I hope we can change some of the future tense to past tense.

“We’ll break the Nifong bind.” becomes “We broke the Nifong bind.” and “…the bar will find his crimes.” becomes “…the bar has found his crimes”, etc.

And FWIW I wrote the lines about the bar before the recent announcement. Anyone could see that coming sooner or later.

Do I really think that I’m going to find the Duke lacrosse team singing this song next year?

Naaah – my doggerel won’t hunt.

JinC – keep up the good work.

Happy New Year everyone!
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Message to Locomotive Breath: We're all looking forward to that tense change. A big hat tip for your latest.

Message to everyone else: From the beginning, Locomotive Breath has been one of the justice seekers.