Duke lacrosse mother speaks out

The media attacks on the Duke lacrosse team following an alleged rape at a party hosted by 3 members of team include two news columns by The Raleigh News & Observer’s Ruth Sheehan. ("Team's silence is sickening" and "Lacrosse team out of control")

Among other things Sheehan’s demanded: “Shut down the team.” She wants Duke to “dump” its coach.

Today at Sheehan's new blog a mother of one of the team members responded to her attacks.

I’m publishing the mother’s comment in full. It's a don't miss. I follow it with a response to the mother, which I left at Sheehan's blog.

The mother began:

I don't know if you have any children, I can't imagine that you do.

I'm sure you are aware of the cruelty and profound harm of discrimination against groups of people.

My son is a Freshman student-athlete on the Duke Lacrosse team. He is a young man honored for his integrity, academics and sportsmanship. He is a high school All American. He has worked hard since he was five years old to excel in a sport that he loves.

It is very difficult to put that much time into a sport and maintain excellent grades and an extensive record of community service. There are many other boys on this team who are similarly honored.

There are Christians who have never had a beer.

There are boys who did not go to the party.

There are boys who left the party early and did not have a beer.

And then there are boys who are "vile," "out of control" boys who have been arrested with an open container of beer. Why don't you delve into the arrest records of all Duke athletes, of all Duke students, or of all Duke employees, for that matter?

Can you imagine how proud my son was when he was recruited to Duke to study and play the sport in which he excels?

I went to Duke and his brother and sister graduated from Duke. Our love and respect for the University has been central to our lives.

You are discriminating against one group of people, not because of fact, but because of innuendo.

You are writing harmful generalizations about boys whom you know nothing about.

When these allegations are proven false, will you write about the woman who has victimized these boys? No, you won't because that is not sensationalist news.

These boys have faces. They are individuals with families. To grossly characterize them is slander and libel. You should be "dumped."
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To the Duke lacrosse Mom:

Thank you for speaking out.

While many people are eager for the type of reporting/prosecution The N&O has been providing, many of us are keeping an open mind. We don't have lynch mob mentalities. We want things to work out in ways that are as fair and just as possible for all.

I can only imagine the intensity of the fears you and others must have now as you listen and read reports from police of threats of physical violence directed at Duke students in general, and members of the men's lacrosse team in particular.

Given those reports a lot of us thought Sheehan would at least tone down her attacks on the team. I talked to some people this morning who are not admirers of hers or The N&O but who were still surprised, even shocked, that in the current circumstances she and The N&O would run today's column.

We’re very sorry they did.

To your question as to whether Sheehan has children: She does, and sometimes writes about incidents impacting their lives.

I think people would agree that where her own children are concerned, Sheehan is very caring and protective.

I plan to post you're letter at my blog. Since it references Sheehan's columns, I will also link to them. That is seen by bloggers as being fair to readers. They can see both sides and make up their own minds.

Yes, that will give Sheehan a wider audience and inevitably some will cheer her on.

But most people I hear from at my blog are intelligent and fair. I have a pretty strong idea about what they'll think of Sheehan's columns and your letter.

Thank you for writing such a powerful and important letter. I admire you for being able to do so in these circumstances.

John